Cue the unsolicited advice givers! Have you been asking this question to your friends and family but not getting any "good" advice? Or maybe you didn't even ask anyone but people keep telling you their two cents on the topic? Sometimes it feels like a lot more than just two cents that they are giving you... or costing you.
Well, you've come to the right place. Hi! I'm Karli with Rainy Mom Opinions. If we haven't met before, I am a mom of three girls(1 bio, 2 bonus) and I have all the opinions on everything baby and toddler related. I spend hours researching before I buy a product to save me the hassle of hating it and returning it ('cause I never will😅). Sometimes my research takes me down a rabbit hole of education, and I want to share what I have found and what products work the best for me so that you don't have to. I am about to share with you the scientific research I have found about pacifiers and whether you should or shouldn't use one for your baby.
Scientific Facts
If your best friend Sally has told you that pacifiers are BAD for your baby and you shouldn't even consider one, let me bust that myth for you. First of all, shame on you Sally for steering your friend in the wrong direction and not doing your research first.
Scientific studies have shown that pacifiers actually reduce the risk of SIDS. What is SIDS? The more appropriate term is now SUID (Sudden Unexpected Infant Death) which includes Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, Unexplained Infant Death, and Accidental Suffocation or Strangulation in Bed. Pacifiers are proven to lower the risk of ASSB simply because they do not allow baby's face to be fully immersed in the bedding while they sleep. This is only proven helpful for babies that are sleeping in a less than ideal space as described by Safe Sleep protocols.
But, without all the researchy talk, my favorite product to keep an extra eye on your baby while she sleeps is the Owlet Dream Sock which you can read all about in my other post HERE.
Pacifiers can also help to soothe a colicky baby. The motion and action of suckling is comforting for babies. Yes, you can give baby a bottle or you can nurse your baby when they are upset, but that usually doesn't help a baby that is already in pain from an upset stomach. A pacifier is not food, it just provides that need to suckle without the food source.
Pacifiers are also helpful when baby needs to get those routine vaccines or maybe needs a blood draw for whatever reason that may be. Of course, a pacifier is not a pain medication, however, something that comforts you will lessen the pain or distract baby from it to the point where they are calmed. Nursing and a bottle could have the same effect but best to have a couple options!
Now, this is a big one that I hear all the time! Pacifiers negatively affect your child's teeth. FALSE! Did you know that there are different size pacifiers for your baby as they age? I did not know this until I was watching my one year old niece one day, before I had my own babies, and my friend (who is a mom) came over. My niece had a newborn binky in her mouth and my friend pointed it out. Every pacifier should have an age range on the package. Make sure your baby has the right age pacifier and continue to switch them as they get older. Pediatric dentists also recommend starting weaning your child at the age of 3 and make sure they are weaned by age 6. I personally have never seen a 6 year old with a pacifier, but most children wean themselves around 2 or 3 years old.
Real Pros and Cons
Pro: Comforts baby. Sometimes your baby needs a little comforting especially when mom can't hold baby. Such as when mom needs to take a shower, tend to her other kids, bathe the dog, and so forth. In the ideal world, we could hold our babies every second of every day, but that's just not reality.
Pro: Aides Mom. An overtired, overstimulated, under fed mom is not good for baby or anyone else. If a pacifier is going to help your baby sleep while you sleep, or drink coffee in silence for 5 minutes, or eat a meal, then it is completely worth it. And there is absolutely no shame in taking care of yourself so that you can take care of others.
Con: Weaning can suck. No pun intended! You might get lucky and have a child that wants to be a "big kid" at the age of 2 or 3. But you can also have a child that is a little more on the stubborn side about ditching the bink.
Pro: The good news is, if you get to a point where nothing is working for them to make the decision on their own, the pacifier is disposable. You can simply throw them away and buckle down for the next couple days of rocky roads. If your baby picks up the habit of sucking on their thumb... there's not much you can do as far as getting rid of it goes.
Breast-Feeding
There are so many opinions on breast-feeding and pacifiers and everyone seems to have a different one! The funny thing is that some hospitals seem to have a strong enough opinion that they even tell moms they CANNOT give their baby a pacifier until they are certain age. This is insane to me! My cousin as a first-time mom was told she could not give her baby a pacifier until she was three months old. By that time, of course, her baby would not take a pacifier. My cousin was an exhausted and young mom and even though she made it through that time, she desperately wanted her baby to take a pacifier so she could get some much needed rest.
The truth about nipple confusion is that most of the time it only pertains to bottles. Breast-feeding is hard for mom, but it is also hard for baby. Baby will get little tastes of breast milk and that will encourage them to keep suckling for it until let-down occurs. But a bottle is much easier for baby since there is no work involved. So, if baby gets a bottle and figures out that it is an easy and quick supply for milk, they may not want to work as hard at the breast next time. After suckling just a couple of times, baby will get frustrated and cry until presented with a bottle.
A pacifier does not supply food at all. My daughter LOVED her pacifier starting from day one. But, you know what she would do when she was hungry? She would spit that thing right out and cry for the boob. The trick is to not prolong hunger with a pacifier. If you are paying attention to hunger cues from your baby, and you know it's been two to three hours since they last ate, don't try to give a pacifier when they cry. I know you want to sleep one more minute, or you have just one more load of laundry to throw in. But, baby has zero patience and they need to eat. A pacifier does not replace that need.
This post is not about whether or not you should allow your newborn some breast milk bottles if you are trying to breast feed. This post is not about whether or not you should breastfeed or bottle feed. This is simply to reassure you that if you want to give your new-fresh-born baby a pacifier, you can do exactly that. Moms everywhere, including myself, have given their babies a pacifier straight from the womb and have been successful at breastfeeding just the same.
A great tip that I came across when using pacifiers is to not use them as a "first-line defense." Meaning if your baby is crying, try comforting them first by just holding them, feeding them, changing them if needed, maybe playing with them. If nothing works, then try a pacifier and see if baby just wants that suckling motion. When you go straight for the pacifier they will be dependent on it in some sense later on. I have experienced this with my own toddler who wants her paci every time she's upset. And considering they go missing 300 times a day, it isn't always the easiest to give her that comfort right away. We're working on it. 😂
Do What Is Right For You and Your Baby
Ultimately, the decision to give your baby a pacifier or not is 100% up to you. Not your nurse that met you once and has such a strong opinion that she has no problem sharing, just you and your baby. Of course, if your baby has a medical condition and your PEDIATRICIAN said no pacifiers, then consider listening to that. But, if it's hospital policy that newborns don't get pacifiers until they are three months old, leave that hospital when you are discharged and realize that they are not raising your child. You are. So parent how you would like to. That is honestly the most ridiculous hospital policy I have ever heard. And I feel so bad for the moms who are pressured into listening. Even if your pediatrician says no pacifiers until 3 months for no reason other than nipple confusion, I would consider finding a new one.
Remember these simple rules on pacifiers and your baby should do just fine.
Use the right age size for your baby and replace them when necessary.
Don't use the pacifier as a first-line defense. Sometimes, baby is hungry or just wants your touch and closeness.
Start weaning at age 3, sooner if your toddler can handle it. Be completely weaned by age 6 or dental complications may arise.
Always follow safe sleep guidelines whether you plan on using a pacifier or not. But in a less than ideal space, a pacifier can save your baby's life.
Please keep in mind that I am not a trained expert on newborns or pacifiers. I am not a doctor or anything to that degree. I am just a mom who doesn't follow social norms based on Karen's beliefs and I don't like strangers telling me what I can and cannot do. Do the research yourself and talk to your pediatrician. Or just follow along with me and I'll do the research for you. Either way, make your own decisions for your baby with what you feel and know is right.
If you have comments, please share them below, however, if you are trying to persuade me to never use a pacifier again, don't waste your time. My mind will not change due to your opinions on pacifiers. You are welcome to those opinions, as am I. Also, share with me what your nurse/hospital said about pacifier use. I am so interested to know what else they tell moms!
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